well the hard part is over now.

well the thing i've been dreading most since i got here

happened last night in the circumstances that i most feared.

BAH. 

and the funny thing was i woke up yesterday

KNOWING 

it was gonna happen.

i could just feel it.

and actually looking back at last night the whole thing WAS funny.

problem was, it just wasn't the way i pictured it...

but uhm, yeah.

i lived.

i am so grateful for my best friend trisha

who always can make me feel better and can always help me feel like a better person when someone makes me feel like the plague.

i get it now that i am not the plague,

and i'm being done a huge favor

from someone who never truly knew me, nor tried.

and that's their loss not mine...

i have to keep reminding myself of that.

and i guess i get the best of both worlds because 

since i've never been so angry at someone in my LIFE,

when i get to the end of this tunnel,

i'll be a way better person coming out of it than going in.

and for that i am grateful.

this anger has been the biggest struggle for me 

and i feel like satan knows it is a weak spot for me, 

and he's working over time on me.

well i'm not going to let him get the best of me

and i'm going to move forward with a smile

and faith that amazing things are gonna happen for me.

and slowly the anger i feel it turning into pity honestly.

i feel bad for them.

even if i need to tell myself that til i actually believe it,

i'm going to move on from this,

and i'm going to forgive and forget.

i'm not going to hold on to something that was not even what i thought it was.

it was all a lie,

and everything,

every little last thing,

makes absolute perfect sense.

so now i move forward.

well having said all that,

today is bound to be a great day.

because i want it to be.

i've already got dinner in the crock pot! 

and when my movie is over i'm totally gonna go running.

lap around the campus + ipod + me= 

total happiness. :)