i have a hard time with these big decisions!
AH!
i know what the right thing to do is,
and so i'm just going to go with it,
and if it's meant to be it will happen.
and secondly it's hard when you feel like you constantly need to compete
or try to keep up with someone when they are around.
and so you try to live a life without that feeling,
but it's doesn't do you any good either.
things are a little tense right now with that.
and i feel bad,
but it is what it is for now.
and thirdly i have big feelings about someone,
but i dunno if i'd ever act on it,
or if i even should try because of the whole mission decision and all.
but man it's hard.
but i have to admit this whole thing i got going on is really fun.
so i dunno.
plus i dont wanna ruin anything great.
i've done too much of THAT before.
lol.
anyways, lots on the mind today apparently.
oh and on the job hunt again.
hopefully wingers or downeast will call me.
we will see, we will see.
but uhm, yeah!
i'm hoping something fun happens tonight.
if not, i guess i get to go running.
oh and
i got fried at the sand bar today with stina.
anyways.
peace.
<3
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